The Mistakes of Love
by Kimmimaru
Summary: Everyone makes mistakes, the proof of the depth of love you hold for someone is in how you overcome them. (RL/SB Slash) A little romantic fluffiness with very mild angst, each snapshot is based around lyrics from songs by Mumford and Sons.


AN: A short few snapshots of Sirius/Remus. T-Rated for the fact that it involves homosexual relationship. This is a story of simple mistakes anyone can make within a relationship, it's about forgiveness and overcoming great odds in the name of love. The lyrics are all from Mumford and Sons album 'Sigh No More, I thought them appropriate. Enjoy. (I know, it's not my best work, I'm very tired but really wanted to write something based on this album as I do love it…)

**The Mistakes of Love.**

'_Love that will not betray you,__  
__dismay or enslave you,__  
__It will set you free__  
__Be more like the man__  
__you were made to be.__  
__There is a design,__  
__An alignment to cry,__  
__At my heart you see,__  
__The beauty of love__  
__as it was made to be.' _

– _**Mumford and Sons, 'Sigh no more'**_

Soft kisses hidden in the semi-darkness, lips as soft as rose petals and a tongue laced with sharp liquor, it's all the apology I need. My heart races with each touch of those elegant fingers, fingers that seem made to pull on the locks of my hair. I can feel your mouth curl as you feel the heat coming from my skin, your free hand rests gently on my knee and slowly moves up my thigh. It's funny how we came to this moment, this incredibly sweet intense moment. We've known each other for six years now and not once did I ever consider this to be a possible outcome to our friendship, but now here we are, brought together by a terrifying mistake you yourself made happen. It's funny how these things work. You betrayed me, you almost got another boy killed but when you came to me in the dead of night with the apology on your lips I could do nothing but forgive you, you make me stupid.

I can taste the whiskey on your breath and smell the cigarette smoke on your hair, you must have been stood out in the cold for hours before plucking up the courage to come to me. I admit, it's a little endearing that I made you so nervous. You were hesitant as you sat at the bedside with James' cloak over one arm, I saw the fear in your silver eyes and knew what I would say even before the apology escaped your mouth. Only one thing I couldn't have predicted, even after all this time of being friends, I could never have known that someone like you could have been harbouring such feelings for someone like me. I'm a monster and you're…well, you're a prince. It's a little like that fairy tale; Beauty and the Beast. I tried to push you away but you're so bloody persistent that I didn't really have the heart and, deep down, I've wanted this for a long while. I never thought I'd ever be able to act upon these confused feelings that have plagued me for so long, I had no idea that we shared the same turmoil until your lips met mine and you cut off my protests as surely as a Silencing Charm. You're warm, even after the biting winds of the School Grounds, I can feel your soft skin beneath my fingers as I brush one of your fine cheek bones and when I feel you smile I can't help but respond.

Finally you pull away, I feel a little bereft but the glitter in your eyes tells me this will not be the last time we share a kiss. "I'm sorry." You whisper, one last time as your fingers linger on my face. I can only smile, you're impossible. You defeated me so easily with that smile, you managed to unlock a long hidden desire within me and no matter what I said or did you overpowered me with your lips.

"It's fine." I reply because what choice have you left me with? How can I not forgive you when you're being so gentle? "I don't hate you."

The relief is palpable but you're still grinning guiltily as if I'm McGonagall and I've caught you breaking the school rules yet again. "What I did was unforgiveable, Moony…I…I'll do anything to make up for it. I swear!"

I consider your offer very carefully, a smirk gracing my own face and I watch nervousness replace your smile. "I intend on holding you to that promise, Sirius Black." I whisper and watch hope blossom in the depths of your eyes.

'_Your grace is wasted in your face  
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck  
Now learn from your mother  
Or else spend your days biting your own neck_

_But it was not your fault, but mine  
And it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time  
Didn't I, my dear?' _

– _**Mumford and Sons, 'Little Lion Man'**_

I really screwed up this time. I can see the pain and fury in your eyes and no matter what I try to say I can see that it makes no difference; I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. It was a mistake, a stupid, hormone driven mistake! I swear it was never meant to happen like that. I was going to stop him but I was drunk. I didn't mean to kiss him but he was just there and the alcohol was…I didn't want to hurt you! It's all my fault! Please, Moony, I'm begging you…

All these excuses and many more threaten to cross my lips but I know that you won't believe a single one of them. You're smarter than I am; I have more respect for you than to try to win your forgiveness this time with soft kisses and tender caresses. Instead I take a deep breath and stand before you, awaiting your final judgement.

You lick your lips slowly as you try to collect your thoughts, your eyes dart to the door and I know you want to run, I wouldn't blame you if you did. "Tell me again…" You say in a voice hoarse with badly hidden pain, I can see your hands shake as they clench upon your knees and I see the way you swallow rapidly.

"I was at the bar and drinking heavily when this bloke began to buy me drinks." I whisper softly, I lower my head in repentance. "By the time the place closed I could hardly stand…the guy he…he took me outside and held me up when I was sick, he took me back to his place and for some stupid fucking reason I agreed…" I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut tightly, the memories from that night are indistinct but I know what happened when we got back to the strangers house.

You stand and move to the window, your fingers fidgeting with the sleeve of your robes. I wait in anticipation as you make your decision. I can hardly breathe; the next words you speak will break me and nothing I can do will prepare me, even though I know perfectly well I deserve it all. Finally, after a long, tense pause you turn and look at me. I see the steel in your eyes and flinch helplessly, some bloody Gryffindor I am. Only you can turn me into a coward. "Go stay with James." You whisper in a rough voice. "Stay with him and…and wait. I need time before I…before I know what to do."

And so I pack my bag, taking with me only the bare essentials. I know you'll take your time to figure this out and no matter how much I want to, I won't rush you. I walk to the door with one white knuckled hand gripping the rucksack filled with my belongings, I swallow and squeeze my eyes shut tightly before tearing open the door and walking away.

'_In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die  
Where you invest your love, you invest your life  
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die  
And where you invest your love, you invest your life_

_Awake my soul, awake my soul  
Awake my soul  
For you were made to meet your maker'_

– _**Mumford and Sons, 'Awake My Soul'**_

There is always light at the end of a tunnel. We've been through so much together, stupid mistakes rectified with the help of our friends, idiotic petty arguments that have very nearly torn us asunder. We've come through so much darkness and now we might be able to have some light. Since the very beginning you've been one of the few constants in a life of insecurities, since that day so many years ago when you came to apologise to me for using me in a trap for another. I can still remember the young, careless boys that we were, heedless of such things as the ones that eventually ripped us apart for so many years. So many lies, so much pain. It's funny how we seem to have almost reversed our roles, now I am the one sat by your bed holding your hand in mine and kissing you as if you're a mirage that will disappear the second I stop. "I'm sorry." I whisper as our foreheads touch, I can see your smile and I watch the years slip from your face. Your fingers touch my cheek, gently running over my jaw-line.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." You mutter, your voice still harsh with lack of use. You came to me not long after you escaped from the Ministry, you came to me and we've spent a whole week in utter bliss. The bed is a testament to our reawakened passions, the sheets messy, a pillow thrown carelessly onto the floor and the mugs of cold tea on the bedside cabinet.

What you say is a lie. I have many things to be sorry for. I left you when you needed me most, I told you I didn't trust you and I never thought twice about the judgment of guilt the ministry sentenced you to. I never even tried to find out the truth when I should have done everything to discover it. But it's too late for regrets, we both know the truth now and we must make the most of the short time we have together before you once again leave my life. Once again we are given no choice and must part ways for a while, but I know when I see you smile that gorgeous smile that we'll be together again someday.

And so, when you stand by the door and look back at me, I can only give you a small smile and touch your hair. "I love you Sirius Black." I whisper and watch you become a young man again, I'm in your arms, swept off my feet and your lips are once again against mine. It's wonderful, it's brilliant and I never want it to end.


End file.
